by Halfdeaf

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released October 31, 2014



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Halfdeaf Knoxville, Tennessee

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Track Name: dgaf
the real test of any choice is having to make the same choice again
you cant defend against ten strokes from my wicked pen
snowed in in a cabin in Gatlin
Burg I spit some madness have you stopping and swerving

popping and not locking but still murdering verses in
time to snatch verbal purses observing funeral services for
punk emcees who want to burden this absurdist wordsmith
I'd prefer you did so I can the see look on your face
as your feelings get hurted

I mean hurt, kid, go home and get your shine box
You not a Amy Winehouse, you barely Amy Winebox
the lazer under my mouse is brighter than your rhymes, hoss
go home and try again, in fact maybe this time stop, look

I had two bowls for breakfast man and neither was cereal
I'm blocking tetris style rhymes over beats thats imperial army
stolen shuttle passcode sneak up in the death star and show those
princess holding assholes who the best arent

_I dont know what you want me to say and
I dont know what you want me to do but
They call me Halfdeaf and I'm givin a fuck
and I dont really give a fuck about you

I dont know why you got in the game man
and I dont know what you expect me to do
The name's Halfdeaf and I'm giving a fuck and
I'll never give a fuck about you

I harvest lyrical stem cells from lyrical fetuses
to make lyrical medicine for medicore emcees
It's not your fault you can't keep up with me but
If I were you I'd take ten years of private lessons
then come see muh

You're useless as a wine seller in a wine cellar
At least my rhyming's clever, maybe you should google 'how to rhyme better'...?
Maybe start a subreddit for subpar emcees? I'm not sweating
some little wimp with expensive equipment but no steez

I've spent most of my life looking at progress indicator bars
My fantasy's finally on some Cloud Strife, I'm Sephiroth large
accept at all costs I'm fighting the boss with all the cheats off
max level max damage flow that turn ya heat off

I be boss as bowser hp 100,000
it's me, the one who wows you with
beats flows and attitudes
weed growin aptitude
seeds clones a tad askew
jesus is that how yall do?
damn I feel bad for you

_I dont know what you want me to say and
I dont know what you want me to do but
They call me Halfdeaf and I'm givin a fuck
and I dont really give a fuck about you

I dont know why you got in the game man
and I dont know what you expect me to do
The name's Halfdeaf and I'm giving a fuck and
I'll never give a fuck about you

I might bust on that fat ass, but that's discretionary
Might bust on your glasses like you were my secretary
Send an interoffice memo to heel wearing bimbos and lonely housewives
Halfdeaf has arrived to bust your copy machine cherry

hit it in the stock room, break room, storage room, after school
late lunch in the park, spank you
hit it in your car, parking lot, there you are, hair disheveled and
make up fucked
face got seat-marks

tell two of your best friends but dont tell your bf
you got knocked on your lunch break next time that you see him
Halfdeaf leave you walking sideways and bleedin
leaving them snail trails and leaving puddles in your seat and

constantly textin calling and facebook messaging
damn girl, you're obviously cray but your drive is impressive
damn girl, what can I say, I'll bust on your chest and drive away laughing
cause it got in your hair, eyes and even a little on your briefcase
Track Name: an explosion in space
[too many minds - I can't shut them out - never could learn - all their loves, their hates, their fears, their needs...]

potential rapist locations
potential papist vibrations
on exponential vacations
to destinations unclear

potential bust on your face and
potential family disgrace on
some exponentials and influentials
with instrumentals on space

potential sadist invasions
potential Sadie's persuasions
for exponential investments
on chests of nylon and lace and

potential spacing at stations
potential wasted on wasted
on exponential herbs and words
like Japanese that go whaling

potential ich ni san shi go
rokku shi'chi ha'chi ku
ju-bei needs to go to
the bafroom and poo, the big baby

I'm faun with a black mask boxing
popping a squat in the front yard
while copping unreleased wu-tang
cause 'I think I'm still in love with you babeh'

konbanwa okami-sama!
at Bennihana's orderin flaming drinks
and warm saki
tokidoki chronic o yarimas


potential racists in races
potential AIDS that's in Hatians
on exponential exponents
exported ventril inflations

potential hating vocations
potential hating on nations
on exponential drugs taken
en masse by fakers with acres

potential hasty at stadiums
potential pasted on labias
with exponential Mercedes'es
paid for by daddies with radius

later a funeral babies
it's pay me or pay me or pay me bitch
maybe it's maybe it's maybe it's
too late

an explosion in space

[there was... an explosion... in space...]
Track Name: tales from the deaf side
I am the dime that derailed the freight train
I am the fuckin bum who told the prophet to gain way
Blaze all day, can't stop it, pipe weed of the Hobbit
fuck Walter Sobczek I'm rollin on Shabbat, yo

I do believe in spooks, I do believe in spooks
Engage it at Warp 9; I'm back up on my Jean-Luc
Computer; tea, Earl Gray, hot
Ensign make it so; number 1 at the weed spot

Eternal Golden Braiding on some Godel Escher Bach
Homey slowly gettin faded on some holy meditation,
money, dab-wax, high heeled women,
swollen bowls and fucking fat sacks, humble beginnings

We knew how to make that dab last; funneling chimneys
Crafting order from the abstract, don't bug me, I'm busy
Diesel, coffee and vag mags; the stuff it take with me
I'm gettin Houston like Whitney, I wanna dance with
"somebody who loooooves me"

*tales from the deaf side*

my left one's the deaf one
exhale from the chest son
talk about myself and get my motherfuckin
kanye west on

it's dangerous to go alone, so take this
and get your god damn quest on

he had problems but you know he could rock
straight out the hills, screwy
but you knew he had balls
and mad skills

went kablooey when he came on the block
with mad deals - never shuts up and he always shows off
but man still

two years old when they taught him to talk
with mad zeal, still he do it like he's
never gettin through with
catchin feels for super nerdy brunette girls in black heels
and black stockings, points of molly and fat wheels

thirty-two years old when he picked up the mic
he got chills, expected nothing then rewarded with hype
but had bills, still he blew it like he'd held it for life
and mad killed, and people knew it when he picked up the mic
and got ill

*tales from the deaf side*

decriminalization, not legalization yall
what grows in ya basement should be made available to all
with an inclination for hustling, stacking papers
and the patience to grow weed with everyday upkeep
non-taxation and no seeds

my life should be sponsored by JOBs and Krylon
Trojan Magnums, BIC lighters, DKNY nylons,
hash oil, old spice, D20s roll twice
jones cola cream soda steam rollin so nice

I'm courtney lovin that chipped fingernail polish and valtrex
texing me all of this perpetual nonsense and foul shit
bitch you get up on my nerves and on my conscience
I'm trying to finish up these verses and bomb this retarded awesomeness

pardon my flawlessness admonishing abolishment
scarred from this lawlessness I'm on some baller shit
and you can follow it
at halfdeaf.bandcamp or get hand smacked where you stand man
get back jack like I was on american bandstand doing a handstand

*tales from the deaf side*
Track Name: the root
busting herbs to customers who trust the words
two in the hand is two in the bush must be heard
doing the dance and spewin the verbs lusty cure
do it with cash, we do it to last do it for ass

two in a cup or two in a glasses bashful gasious masses
blazing massive hash bricks with bastard classes
they're all massive pricks with too much cash kids
let's have a rhyme battle and see who the fastest is

88mph @ 1.21 gigawatts
I get 88 smiles per shower if I'm at a gig or not
spittin like crazy whether I'm sick or not
Chelsea like Lately I been hittin on the sickest broads
Twistin logs and makin beats worthy of spittin on

my shit is played at coffee shops and skate parks in Amsterdam
my rhyme style is awfully boss I may spark the answer, man
irritated as the cancer man in a dancer's gown prancin around and outa hand
I put it down for as long as I can

inhale, exhale, feel it as my chest swell
grown man, dress well, really smoke the best L
I do not live for money, but I'm makin money

Cop shit then sell, feel it as my chest swell
grown well, good smell top cola break scales
I do not live for money, I'm really makin money

early in the mornin I be rising to the street yo
mother fuck a cigarette I strap shoes on my feet yo
callin up my lady friend to make my day complete
so it goes and so it goes until I'm food for worms to eat

meditation medicine is pravalent I'm hesitant to mention it
unless you heads are really into gettin bent
open up my back pack give you kids a present
but I'ma hold my stash back, give you time to smell the shit

if the beat was Mulder I'd be Scully on the mic
question shit invest in it ensure they do it right
and be the best at it, my shit is wired tight
and so on for the rest of it, tell you kids goodnight

if the beat was Scully I'd be Mulder on the mic
pull an AD Skinner in my office close the blinds
rock it on the desktop chest hot press spot
stop it cause the wet spot is ruining my best watch

you can't call me Tyler if you know you don't know me
you can call me halfdeaf or you can call me hills homey
ballin on the reals makin deals homey
call up ya moms and copin feels cronie

call this record Spit because I'm volunteering skills
enough make yall suckers quit and split in all yall baby mamas wheels
youre pausing comma skills are laugh a bill, I mean laughable
you really need to practice on the real

if the beat was your girl I'd destroy it on the mic
if you've beaten Portal then you know what beating's like
ten lyrical morsels tasty wholesome and inspired
if you're on board maybe twist it up proceed ignite

I don't give a fuck if you thinkin there's really some reason for frontin me like that frontin's in season
take it from me I get tough like a lesion displeasing like treason while speakin the reason
pheasable theiving cannot make you pleasing to me I get speakin on bitches weed son
Track Name: twisting knobs
[you said this shit was called... Master Chief?

*yea, yeayeayea


*i know...

them little Halo dudes should NOT grow weed, man]

I've smoked some Caramella
I've smoked some Casey Jones
I've smoked that Dieselberry
I've smoked that Chocolope

I've smoked that Early Durbin
till makin words ain't workin
I've smoked some kush from new york
I found that shit disturbing

I love that Sour Diesel
I love Malawi Gold
I love some Knoxville local
That shit is how we roll

I smoked some Easy Rider
I smoked some Mango
I smoked some Princess Zelda bud
Tasted the same tho

I smoked some Pineapple Punch, that Master Kush is for lunch
Up next is Strawberry Crunch, I love that Silver Funk

Text me and keep us in touch
A quarter pound aint too much
I shouldn't say shit like that
but I don't give a fuck

it come from around the way
it's from Kentucky with K
Virginian hash plant growers
throwing ducketts my way

so what you want me to say
my and my people dont play
and it was a point of contention
to mention lifting weights


I'll smoke with aging hippies
I smoke with college kids
I'll smoke a blunt with teach
Depend on what the subject is

I've smoked with certain nurses
Flirt back with urgent purpose
Like it's their only service
I like them nurses plurnt'd

One time I smoked with People
Under the Stairs
the blunt I brought with me
was just as good as theirs

I've smoked out newscasters
*my shoes are awesome*
then went inside and watched him
wasted unprepared

I've smoked with politicians
I've smoked with hotties, listen
Salvia leaves are bitchin
Twitchin kids been listen System

I smoked with poor and rich and
Blew dabs with twisted sisters
MIDI controlling madness
twistin knobs till fists get blisters

my name is Halfdeaf
ah man I hope you feel me
they any hash left?
if so I'll get to twistin
Track Name: the cure for wackness
Doing as well as can be expected under the circumstances
Try as I might tho I can't resist some downward glances
Fresh out of second chances while the devil dances
answers in your pants, sustained by chance from vivance advancement

Mo juiced up than anyone else on the planet, I wait a mamet
I mean moment, dammit, I'll say shit faster than Kirk Hammet
if he were a soviet metalhead spy undercover solider
with a lazy eye in a hammock, leave weekend emcees lookin
like Thom Yorke; faces slanted

you're not witty; you're superfluous as a third titty
your mom's pretty. listened to your soundcloud now I feel shitty
here's the deal kiddie: you're not a good enough emcee to make a deal with me
I'm not the one who killed Biggie but I make you squeal easily

I'm feasibly self sustaining rhymecraft black belt with a sweet 16
I get on top of your head I'm so hot I make your hat melt degree by degree
until you're a sad shell of the emcee you used to be
but I guess foolish be the way foolish be

how you gonna let some dude with half the hearing you have
rhymes circles around your circles and girls be sayin too bad
if you had 8-10 more years of practice then maybe you could match this
maybe cutting off one of your ears would cure your wackness

I'll see you later, in 28 days I'll call you mama like I was AC Slater
Situation rougher than a cheese grater
Style is heavy like obese neighbors
take a look at these papers
it's legal permission for me to freeze fakers with neat lasers

and tease haters with my green acres tennessee cash cropin steez, laterz
kisses and winky smiley face emojis like teen skaters eatin cheese and taters
waiting for their moms to pick them up from the skate park I bleed haters
with pristine phasers, got the same birthday as Kobe;

I don't need Lakers
and I don't need shakers, salt & pepper enough for three waiters
bein the fall guy like Lee Majors,

we're weed bakers
we're seed layers, we read papers and skeet neighbors like three favors

we repeat later. - Let me slow down and be fair
if ya'll wan fuck with me yall gon need
intent-sive cay-yur,

do I have to talk like I'm uneducated to clear up your blank stare?
if so you're never gonna feel me, good luck, say your prayers


I lack the patience to tolerate yall and I don't hate yall
but dealing with your wack asses is no cakewalk
still I stay strong

in the face of latent stupidity in this viscinity like risin humidity
I take off, to some other destination less rife with pillbillies and lame sauce

yall can take yall racism and small minded small town mentalities and stay gone
go on to jail where you're more comfortable, and don't make bond
but yo go ahead and stay long, maybe you'll get some responsibilities to take on
maybe you can get your bear-claw jailcell cake on

Me? I'm gonna be gettin my record-shit-in-one-take on
maybe practice hard and bust it live so ya girl can get her ass-shake on
you can call me Jody because I'm goan be geting my your-girl-spank on
she really likes to get her my-man-is-locked-up skank on

well game on!

here's a meth pipe and some natty lite and a truck magazine and some stank bombs
maybe wrestling comes on next! yay-haw!
I'll see yall, but only if I commit three ignorant felonies and crash my pickup into a tree, aww
it must really suck to be yall
Track Name: if you can reach me
in the winter we would skip making dinner
and go straight to the mattress, dress that was backless
yes that was rap shit clearing up your sadness
carry you through bad shit wearing out your ass bitch

and my money clip's elastic, has to be
gotta avoid a fantastic catastophe
gotta ensure that the magic happens to me
what feels like magic to you is my reality

grams and ounces each and every day
pull an anthony keides and give it away
but we don't don't give it away, we move an elbow a day
you better ask about me and listen to everything

shit is 20 a gram, baby 60 an eighth
maybe cop 14 if you were needing a break
gimme three and a half and you get 28
you can get whatever you want, if you can reach me


take off your clothes but leave them high heels on'
would you consider a ball gag some glitter and a ball mask
picturing a long task, enter at long last
have dinner then some bong glass filled with the bomb grass

I never really met a girl it's plain to see
Who loved to jon-blaze daily and think like me but
I never read a better set of cheddar ready innocent
fuck me eyes or lovlier upper thighs, I'm serious

clearly it's problem with you and me
we'll fuck until two or three
then twist a blunt and switch on Final Fantasy
get blunted as a manatee
get stunted as Lohan Lindsay
then wait until the morning and fuck again, it has to be

I know just what you're doing but I got to go now
some business that is brewing and I can not slow down
I can see you gettin sad but girl youve nothing to teach me
maybe see you later on, if you can reach me


smoke top colas, big shots rollas
always hit trips when I play poker
always lipstick when you're bent over
thick like Bisquick till this shits over

rover rolling on the surface of Mars high
a solider aiming now to walk in the bar fly
like Mulder Scully and the agency bald guy
grab a camcorder and record us some x files

take a selfie with my dick in your mouth
and then you flip and text it to me with a wink and a smile
and then you tell all of your roomies we be back in a while
post "thank you" on my Facebook wall - you got style

I'd really love to give you all my time indeed
but that's not what you need so you gotta be patient
I'd really love to hit it get it two or three times
two or three lines but my phone is ringing!